Thursday, October 9, 2008

Top 10 "Teacher" Characters in Movies (Part 2)

If you did not get a chance to read my post from yesterday, it was Part 1 of a list I made from what I think consists of the Top 10 "teacher" characters in movies (literally, symbolically, figuratively, whatever, you get the point). Yesterday I posted the the top 5: you can read it here (or just scroll down if you're on the main page...or click on the link on the left side...or just don't read it - it's your life - do what you want). So as promised, here are the top 5:

5. Chubbs Peterson from Happy Gilmore - The fact that a teacher character is played by Carl Weathers automatically means he makes this list. The fact that he plays a one-handed, alligator-hating golf pro turned instructor means he makes the top 5. Not that it's a very common phrase outside of golf, but I can't hear "tap it in" without saying (in my mind or out loud...usually out loud), "just give it a little tappy, tap tap tap a roo" because of one of the exchanges between Chubbs and Happy in this movie.

Sadly, Chubbs dies from falling out of a window in shock after seeing what Happy thought was a nice gesture in getting Chubbs the head of the alligator who took Chubbs' hand. But he lives on in Happy's good thoughts.

4. Mickey from Rocky - Played by the late Burgess Meredith, Mickey is Rocky's trainer. He makes the list because every line he has is awesome:

--You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!
--(To Rocky) Your nose is Broken (How does it look?) Ah, it's an improvement
--Keep hittin' him in the ribs, ya see? Don't let that bastard breathe!
--Women weaken legs.
--You know what you are? (No, what?) A tomato. (A tomato?) Yeah, and I'm running a business here, not a goddamn soup kitchen!
--You're a bum rock, you're a bum.

If lines like that don't inspire you to punch people, I don't know what would.

3. Detective John Kimble from Kindergarten Cop - Get to the choppa!!!! Hearing Arnold impersonations is probably one of the best things that this crazy world has to offer...that is, unless they're coming from the man himself...Ah-nuld. I'm proud of a lot of things that I've accomplished over the of those things: being in Kindergarten when this movie came out. I don't really remember, but it's okay because I definitely appreciate this movie more, 18 years later. You know how I mentioned not being able to take the phrase "tap it in" seriously because of #5, Chubbs? Well it's because of Kindergarten Cop that I can't take the word "tumor" seriously...especially when watching one of the many hospital shows on TV when they figure out, "it's not a tumor." And now, for your viewing pleasure, a compilation of some of Detective Kimble's best lines from the movie:

2. Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid - RIP Pat Morita. This is just a no brainer. Mr. Miyagi is easily one of the best teacher characters from the movies...he's one of the best characters period. Why is this though? Well, I think most of it has to do with the fact that although he can barely speak English, and when he does he sounds like a Japanese George of the Jungle, he still comes off so wise. Like this:

Daniel-san, must talk. Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later...get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no." You karate do "guess so"...just like grape. Understand?

Hell yea we understand! There's also his subtle sarcasm:

Daniel: Hey, what kind of belt do you have?
Mr. Miyagi: Canvas, JC Penny, $3.98. You like?
Daniel: No, I meant...
Mr. Miyagi: In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold up pants. Daniel-san...(taps head) Karate here...(taps heart) Karate here...(taps belt) Karate never here...understand?

The other thing about him is that he's very calm but once in a while he busts out some ass-kicking moves, only when entirely necessary though...annnd he taught Daniel-san how to defend himself by making him sand his entire deck, wax his cars and paint his fence. And because of all of this, one of the hardest Nintendo games ever made was based on the movie series. But that's just how Miyagis roll: "In Okinawa, all Miyagi know two things: fish and karate."

1. Yoda - You knew this was coming. No elaboration needed.

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