Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Karate Kid Remake - A Travesty

The Karate Kid can not be redone...plain and simple. Here's why:
  • Mr. Miyagi is one of the most well-known and well-loved characters in film history
  • Ralph Macchio, I'm sure, can't walk around in public to this day without someone yelling "Daniel-san," "Ay Laruso!" or "Look! It's the Karate Kid!" He is the Karate Kid.
  • A big reason why The Karate Kid is great is the fact that it's so 80's - wardrobe, music, hairstyles, etc. Can you imagine someone trying to remake Top Gun? Also, There's no possible way that you can top the montage with "You're the Best" playing in the background.
And yet...Will Smith can't see these obvious points. By now, I'm sure, you've heard about the remake that he's producing, starring his son Jaden as the star. And Jackie Chan will be playing Mr. Miyagi. I mean...are you serious?

That's not are a few of the other apparent details regarding this remake:
  • There were rumors that it would instead be called The Kung Fu Kid. Sounds ridiculous, but this would actually make sense considering the setting for the movie will be in China. Though it was more or less adapted from martial arts in China, Karate is known to have an origin in Japan, not China. "Kung Fu" translates to Chinese Martial arts. However, rather than respecting this ENORMOUS difference that is understood between the two countries and the rest of the world, the movie is apparently still going to be called The Karate Kid.
  • Though Jackie Chan is basically playing the character of Mr. Miyagi, his character name will be "Mr. Han." Jaden Smith's character name will not be will be Dre. *sigh* Pat Morita is probably rolling in his grave.
Obviously, I will not be going to see this movie, whenever it's released next year. I hope you're with me...let me know your thoughts.


Mike said...

Of course I'm with you. You don't mess with any film that has Andrew and Elisabeth Shue in it. If you're wondering, "Andrew Shue is in the Karate Kid? Where?" DO NOT look to It's inaccurate. You can catch a glimpse of him in the scene where Daniel and Ali are on the soccer field at school.

But I digress.

This is insanity at its worst. Words can't describe how angry a remake gets me.

I like Jackie Chan as much as the next guy... probably more. The autographed home vacation photo he sent me is a prized possession of mine. I've also been a fan of Will Smith - AND HIS SON. "Just the Two of Us" makes me cry to this day. I hear him start rapping, and it's like Niagara Falls.

This will not stand, however.

The best part of Karate Kid is not the plot. It's the little details that make it so endearing. What twenty- or thirty-something doesn't crack a smile when they hear someone say, "YEEEEAAAAAHHH - get him a body bag!!!" when they're walking down the street. I have a friend that I say BONZAI! regularly to. When my wife and I get into playful arguments, I say, "Get off my case!" in that same way that Daniel says it to Ali. That's just the subtleties. Every single person my age is familiar with the classic phrase, "wax on, wax off."

These are things that cannot be created, and they cannot be appreciated by people other than those who lived it in the mid 80s when the movie left its mark on pop culture forever.

This is truly a travesty, and I hope the next generation doesn't grow up to hear someone else saying, "Sweep the leg."

KW said...

Very good points...the mere fact that future generations could think of a remake when someone mentions "The Karate Kid" annoys me enough...

If this remake actually steals the classic lines though...that aggression will not stand, man

KW said...

Also...the following is Dan's comment that he mistakingly posted on the last post regarding June 09 Movie Releases:

"I...I'm...yep...I'm gonna throw up........I swear on this blog for anybody reading to see, I will forever boycott Will Smith, his wanna-be son and Jackie Chan (not like this would be much of a loss) if this really happens. There are lots of movies re-made that probably shouldn't have been touched, but I didn't really mind. Planet of the Apes, Charlie & the Chocolate factory - nice effort, not good at all but whatever, Psycho w/ Vince Vaughn was TERRIBLE but I gave it a shot. I'm sure there are countless others, but not THE Karate Kid. You can't top a SINGLE character in that fine film. Not Daniel, not Ali "with an i", not Johnny or his Sensei John Kreese, Not Dutch and all the members of Cobra Kai, not even Daniel's mom and how she pushes her station wagon down the street. AHHHHHH - I'm pissed off now!"

Mike said...

I love the whole pushing the station wagon thing.

KW said...

I should add that the past few years, I've strongly considered being either Daniel Larusso or Johnny Lawrence for Halloween (in the karate uniform)

I was leaning toward Johnny because I have blond hair, the karate gi is sleeveless and I could just act like an asshole all night. The only challenge is I might have to walk around barefoot all night to really dedicate myself. I might have to do it next Halloween.

Mike said...

Very funny you should mention that - I'm going to an "80s party" this weekend as a Cobra Kai member, with Karate pants and an amazingly awesome Cobra Kai shirt. Kelly might go as a shower.

KW said...

Haha awesome! I, too, have a Cobra Kai T-Shirt.